Let me preface this review by saying that 1) Terry picked this week's movie and 2) he had to point out to me who Jenna Jameson was. I went into it with an open mind knowing that the week's pick would very likely swing further to the stripper-side of the genre scale than to the horror side. I was only slightly off. While the naked boob to zombie beheading ratio was about a 102 to one, Zombie Strippers had enough undead action to do the horror genre proud.
Yes, Zombie Strippers featured everything you would expect from a movie starring a porn star…and a few things you wouldn't.
Female U.S. marines in full makeup running amok with gravity-defying cleavage and just f***'ed hair – expected.
Shockingly clever dialogue – unexpected.
Terrible acting by non-principles – expected.
Fair to fairly good acting by the movie's headliners – unexpected.
Fully bare breasts within the first 15 minutes – expected.
The fact that they didn't show up for 15 minutes – unexpected.
Tron-like, circa 1988 special effects – expected.
Really good zombie makeup – upexpected.
A plethora of plot holes – expected.
Witty, well-placed references to existential philosophers – highly unexpected.
Shallow, one-dimensional characters – expected.
Robert Englund (a.k.a. Freddie Kruger) as the germaphobic club owner – unexpected and freaking funny!
Scantily-clad women – expected.
Scantily-disguised political commentary on the nightmare known as the Bush administration – unexpected.
Stylized zombie chick fight – expected.
Stylized zombie chick fight concluding with an attack of golf balls shot from the zombies' lady parts – unexpected.
By the end of the film I had come to expect the unexpected from Zombie Strippers. While I would have rather shot golf balls out my own coochie than pay full ticket price to see it, Zombie Strippers was far from the complete waste of time I had expected. We laughed enough and were shocked (in a good way) enough to make Zombie Strippers worthy of our Friday night Killer B's ritual.
I'll leave you with the best line ever spoken by either stripper or zombie: "Don't you ever f***'ing call me an agnostic again."
Yes, Zombie Strippers featured everything you would expect from a movie starring a porn star…and a few things you wouldn't.
Female U.S. marines in full makeup running amok with gravity-defying cleavage and just f***'ed hair – expected.
Shockingly clever dialogue – unexpected.
Terrible acting by non-principles – expected.
Fair to fairly good acting by the movie's headliners – unexpected.
Fully bare breasts within the first 15 minutes – expected.
The fact that they didn't show up for 15 minutes – unexpected.
Tron-like, circa 1988 special effects – expected.
Really good zombie makeup – upexpected.
A plethora of plot holes – expected.
Witty, well-placed references to existential philosophers – highly unexpected.
Shallow, one-dimensional characters – expected.
Robert Englund (a.k.a. Freddie Kruger) as the germaphobic club owner – unexpected and freaking funny!
Scantily-clad women – expected.
Scantily-disguised political commentary on the nightmare known as the Bush administration – unexpected.
Stylized zombie chick fight – expected.
Stylized zombie chick fight concluding with an attack of golf balls shot from the zombies' lady parts – unexpected.
By the end of the film I had come to expect the unexpected from Zombie Strippers. While I would have rather shot golf balls out my own coochie than pay full ticket price to see it, Zombie Strippers was far from the complete waste of time I had expected. We laughed enough and were shocked (in a good way) enough to make Zombie Strippers worthy of our Friday night Killer B's ritual.
I'll leave you with the best line ever spoken by either stripper or zombie: "Don't you ever f***'ing call me an agnostic again."
You totally forgot the sheer number of fake boobs in this flick. Astounding. Nipples are NOT supposed to point North like that. Those gals could scratch the inside of their noses with them!
ReplyDeleteThe same lines, techniques, pick up lines to pick up beautiful women on the street just don't work in a strip club environment. party strippers
ReplyDelete